Growing again hinds' feet . . .

CORRECTED RE-WRITE OF THIS POST…

(I mistakenly thought David on Cennini Forum and then Jon who has posted on my blog for suggesting this book when all the time it was actually Eugene who suggested it. After reading my blog, there were so many mistakes I decided to re-write it completely.)

RE: Hinds' Feet On High Places by Hannah Hurnard

This is to EUGENE .... thank you for the suggestion to read this book!!!

After blogging about my fears in the previous post, Eugene suggested I read this Christian classic; an allegory about a very fearful girl and how the Shepherd from the High Places of the mountain (the Lord) helped her gain new feet (she was crippled) like those of a hind (female deer). As you know the hind is able to leap and bound across the roughest terrain … and in this case the rough terrain is the difficulties found in this life ... leaping above difficult circumstances.

What is written in this book is what I have experience throughout my life for I have met many difficulties and disappointments. At 66 years of age, I have been trotting on my own "hinds' feet” … romping with the LORD on the mountain tops through many a difficult circumstances for many years. That is why, when a Christian grows hinds' feet it is possible to declare, “Count it all joy, my brethren, when you meet various trials, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. " (James 1:2).

Yet those who’ve grown “hinds’ feet” are not exempt from self-deception from time to time. Seeking the Lord is what I practice on any everything that troubles me for I've learned that answers will come eventually. I had been seeking an answer to why I was so un-productive as an artist. I thought it might just be mere laziness, or that there was a lack of skill. I did not see fear. This self deception had resulted in an artistic block. How wonderful to have been nudged by the Lord to get this book. Meanwhile, in desperation, I poured out my plight in a private message to the moderator, Rob Howard on the Cennini Forum. He stunned me when he suggested that my problem was fear. He said, "You must overcome your fears" and he gave me some advice for doing that.

Then that little book came and along with it a conformation from the Lord. None of this is happening by accident. The Lord is orchestrating an answer and a solution. This is His way. I am gaining some strategies as how to battle what I recognize is my crippling fears. Fear is the opposite of faith.

For such a long time I had been blocked and I literally could not finish much art. I was overly critical of myself and set unrealistic standards. A fear of failing worked on my pride. I hurled brutal self-criticism upon my work. Nothing I did was good enough. A fear welled deep inside questioning, “Will my work ever be of any value? Will I ever be nothing more than an amateur? Will I fail?” Clearly, now I see that I was lusting after worldly success forgetting that it is the LORD God who gave all the talent I will ever possess at birth. How can I add an inch to my height; why am I worrying about talent or skill? It is not God that causes us to prosper (Det. 8) on this planet? All we are to do is be faithful .... not successful ....to do the best we can and to take advantage of every opportunity. Finally, I am free. What a heavy burden has been lifted off my shoulders.

Oh how long, LORD will I struggle and lust after the success of this world and the approval of mankind?

Scripture says, that if we will judge ourselves then we can avoid the disciplines from our Father in heaven. Those disciplines allow our problems to fester (Romans 4:2 - the Goodness of God leads man to repent ... waiting patiently and mercifully for the festering process to mature). When pain cannot be borne a minute longer, it must be lanced in order that the pussy sore can be drained completely and the wound healed. Our scares should remind us to deal with problems quickly to avoid such pain in the future ... but as with my case, deception clouds the truth.

As I'd stated before, just because one has been given "hinds'" feet (the hoofs of a deer) doesn't mean that one will never struggle again with the flesh. This is what scripture calls ... spiritual strongholds. My artistic block was the result of self-deception from false pride ... and repentance sets us free. Repentance simply means “to have a change in thinking, to agree with God and turn from that attitude.”

Proverbs 23:7 "For as he thinketh in his heart, so [is] he: ..."

The deception: I didn't want to examine my pride issue and selfish ambition for the things of this world. I still struggle with wanting man's acceptance but at last I have insight now. The opposite of pride is humility...genuine humility. What does God allow, my flesh to be humbled ... to bring me into submission ... I'm so okay with that and the pain is going away.

Consider this, if there is a blessing for being an obedient child to our earthly parents might there is scripturally speaking .... (Proverbs says to honor your mother and father "that things will go well with thee and your life will be long upon the earth) .... how much more then .... will things go well for us on this planet when we agree with our Heavenly Father and do things His way!!!!

The Proverbs speaks wisdom: "My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother: For they [shall be] an ornament of grace unto thy head, and chains about thy neck." and ...."My son, despise not the chastening of the LORD; neither be weary of his correction: For whom the LORD loveth he correcteth; even as a father the son [in whom] he delighteth."

Thank you Eugene . . . you certainly were an instrument of God's will for me ... the Lord richly bless you and reward you my friend.

---Patti