December Life Drawing

Frustrations of Struggling Artist...
It is no wonder that I cannot get much done. Constant interruptions and family duties call me away from productive painting sessions in my studio. Then when I have a day or two, I am still so distracted that my sessions produce nothing worth keeping. In frustration I usually start tearing up my work. In fact, I have made the mistake of trying to take unfinished works only to end up destroying them. Everything ends in the trash can.

Painting for me requires me to be in the right frame of mind (I think). I have tried so many times to just push through a bad session but ultimately I'm driven to quit and walkout fiercely frustrated. Then that fear makes it hard to enter the studio again.

Thankfully, this life drawing session is saving the day for me. With absolutely no planning, no expectations, I just go and do it. If something good happens fine but if not, it doesn't matter. Now it's the holidays...forget doing anything serious for me.

December Life Drawing...


This is from December Life Drawing ... I wish I could get better images. These are somewhat overly contrasted next to the originals.

November Painting After Renoir

The above is a painting...a copy I made of the famous child's portrait by Renoir. I was hoping to learn something of the brushwork by painting after Renoir which was indeed informative as was the coloration. It needs some tweaking but I am pretty happy with it so far, and also what I have learned.

The portrait is entitled Mademoiselle Legard (painted after) Pierre-Auguste Renoir
(Original is at Philadelphia Museum of Art)

November Life Drawings

These are the current life drawings for November.

Success Found in Failure

Lately I have been experiencing a lot of failures.

The words that I spoke to my children to encourage them are ringing in my ears now. "It's the failures in your life that breeds success. How you handle failure is far more important than how you handle successes. You cannot grow spiritually without failures."

That is so true. It is the failures that build character and strength.

But, when it is your failure, well that is another thing. Never teach someone something that you are not ready to experience yourself. I guess you think that failure will end but it never does.

Last year I decided to learn a very difficult (over 10 page) piano piece -- Carl Von Weber's famous Perpetual Motion -- to be performed at the Ladies Music Club, Pianist Division meeting, some of the best pianists in the city. I practiced that piece which is performed at blistering speed so much, that I memorized it. The day came to perform it. I got there early and played it thought almost to perfection.

When I performed it, I got to the second page and totally went blank. So flustered was I that I could not go on. I was crushed, humiliated, defeated, and in tears. Self sabotage thoughts ran through my mind, "it doesn't matter how hard you practice, you will always fail."

For about six months I could not touch the piano. It literally made me anxious to think about. I thought of resigning from the club and wondered if I would ever want to play again ever. Over reaction? I guess some could say so but for me the whole point of joining the club was to overcome my fear of performing and improve my playing. I wanted to play with confidence and now I am feeling completely shattered.

Recently, I thought of those words I spoke to my children. Hypocrite, practice what you preach. I went to the piano with some anxiety and begain playing that very piece. It was full of mistakes but I was beginning to not take myself so seriously. "Oh that is really bad but I guess it can only get better." Right then, I decided that I would not resign the club, and I would play again. Next time I will pick a less ambitious piece but I will not let any poor performance totally defeat me. With my ego adjusted, I will take myself less seriously, and in the end I will play and perform with greater confidence and I will have to work even harder at it and sooner or later I will again be successful at the keyboard.

The same is true with my art. Sometimes criticisms are helpful; sometimes they are destructive and discouraging. It is, after all, someone's subjective opinions. In the end it is I who will have to be the final judge. As I work, I will gain self confidence and improve. Don't we all want the approval of mankind yet, that in itself can be very destructive to creativity. Once again my ego is well adjusted and in the end I will finally produce art that I can be proud of. If I can please myself, that should be enough for I would have done the very best that I can do.

The sketches I posted are from a life drawing session. There is great joy in just fulfilling the process of making art. Success and that little elusive red dot "sold" only serves to augment that present joy but if that is all one lives for, that monster can never be satisfied.

So it is in the valley of despair that we grow. Joy comes in the morning.

October Art In Progress

This is the most recent version of a painting I am working on and I see that it stinks. I think I will just start over. The skin tones are not that blue-ish. The first version had lots of vitality but then I over thought it...now I am trying to recover but it still does not have the punch that I want.

What I love about this image (see reference) is that it tells a story. I want to do justice to this young very handsome black man. His body is perfection, but his life is not ... and his face is full of defiance and his body full of tension. The white paint does not mask the struggle of a person moving begrudgingly toward changes in thinking. It is about influences, tensions, and it is wrapped in an absurd situation that uses fun and silliness to drive home a serious life changing point. This is a summer high school age Christian camp. Thankfully, this young man was won over by a group of caring kids and leaders who just simply loved him unconditionally. The first thing they do is teach each kid not to take himself seriously...and the reason for the goofy face painting...it worked

Floral Bouquet

I received a bouquet of flowers...so here is my alla prima (wet-into-wet method quick method) try that is not yet finished. I have some more work to do on this so it is still a work in progress.

I don't know how I feel about this piece.

September Art

Gerber Daisy

Achievement ... is in all of us.

This young man, a few yards from the finish, is my son. He is about to complete a two year long life goal and is finishing a grueling 14 hour Iron Man course in Louisville, Kentucky (August 31, 2008).

Few friends or relatives have bothered to call to congratulate him. Why is that? .... when less than .1% of the population will ever achieved such a great test of endurance.

For those of you who might not know what an Iron Man course is like, in 14 hours, Darren swam a little over 2 miles in the Ohio River (half of which was against a swift current), completed a 112 mile very hilly bike ride, and ran 26.3 mile on an also hilly course in stifling heat and humidity. He did that sick and not at his physical best.

I understand human nature for with everyone who achieves a great goal, the rest of us are tempted to succumb to the feeling of smallness and insignificance?

In a world that operates with a "if you are up, then I am down" mentality, truly achieving anything great is a lonely pedestal upon which to stand.

To take that attitude is to miss the real glory of this moment for all humanity.

I love my children and they are very special to me; growing up, however, they were just ordinary kids with a mixture of strengths and weaknesses ... like the majority of us.

What is amazing to me and the great glory of this moment is that God is taking these two ordinary kids and working out extraordinary achievement in their lives. That is miraculous.

I knew that God took some really ordinary men and women in ages past and did glorious things through them. So we all have the capacity to do great things.

I am hoping Darren will blog his experience and that he will relate what a miracle of God's Grace was upon him to do the impossible. When he does, I will add a link and let him tell in his own words how the Apostle Paul's words became a revelation in his own life experience: "My grace is sufficient, says the Lord, in your weakness I am made strong."
Darren sent me the following ... which I thought was quite thought provoking too:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, "Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?"
Actually, who are you not to be?

We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us.
It is not just in some of us; it is in all of us, in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

~Nelson Mandela

Merlin - Lesson in Composition (Con't)

Cennini Forum: Remember the Merlin composition that was started last June? Finally, I am getting back to this task. Having read nearly four books on composition, I finally was able to design a drawing that Rob Howard (Cennini Forum Moderator - Master Teacher) finally found acceptable. And I quote Rob, "The basic composition is solid. From this point it's just add more information that helps to tell the story. That's not to be confused with mindless detailing."

So I am posting. I chose the part of the story where the white dragon has defeated the red dragon and Merlin's prophecy has been declared true, the tower regained, and the soldiers rise up to go out and defeat the enemy.

Now all I have to do is add more information to help tell this story without adding details... mindless details that might cause confusion. "Oh vay." I'm still working on it.

Books on Composition

In preparation for Landscape Boot Camp with Gordon MacDonald in Nova Scotia, I am reading quite a number of books on composition which I highly recommend those being:

Composing Your Paintings by Bernard Dunstan
Composition of Outdoor Painting by Edgar Payne
The Power of the Center by Rudolph Arnhein
Composition by Cyril Pierce
Carlson's Guide to Landscape Painting by John Carlson

As I am discovering, composition is a visual language that over the ages of artistic development and analysis, natural fundamentals have emerged that almost all art critics and artists agree are principles that must be followed in order to create quality paintings.

These principles are sometime rather complex to put in to words. I find that many authors in an attempt to write in an academic way...often lose their audience. I will review the following books two of which I have completed and one I have just started.

Rob Howard has been harping for months now on the importance of "speaking" to the viewer though not only subject matter but also the very construction of the art. All of what he has been saying on the Cennini Forum is confirmed in all that I have read.

REVIEWS

Composing Your Paintings by Bernard Dunstan
This is a book that I did not outline but just read from cover to cover. It is very good and I would recommend it. The substance of his information is packed with practical methods every artist should know. His explanation of the "Golden Proportion" is very clear and easy to remember. Once you see this fundamental perfect proportion, you see it in almost all of the masterpieces. Dunstan is a very clear writer and it is easy reading and it's only 103 pages. This will support the other books that go in greater depth.

Composition of Outdoor Painting by Edgar Payne
Currently I am at the center of this book and I can say that the information here is spot on. The only thing about this book is that Payne is not a very fluid writer. He inverts many of his sentences and places the most important information at the end.

Topics include:

• "The Approach To Art" -- the purpose and aesthetics of art, emotional impules , nature, discipline, influences, etc.

• "Selection & Composition" -- critical selection and judgment processes, mistakes in composing, simplicity; painting various objects including marine, mountains, trees, clouds, etc.; fundamental principles, styles, value, color balance, interchange, scale, etc.

• "Harmony" - color, pigment, rhythm, repetition, etc.

• "Types of Composition" -- symbols, steel yard principle of balance, the 'O', the 'S', the 'Pyramid', the 'Cross', group mass, the diagonal line, the 'tunnel', the 'silhouette', the 'pattern', etc.

I will update this when I have finished the rest of the book.

***

The Power of the Center by Rudolph Arnhein
I have read and outlined this book. The first few chapters are a bear to get thought because Arnhein is introducing the concepts of eccentricity and centricity and it is rather complex. If you stick with it, it will begin to make perfect sense and fortunately though out the book the author continues to overlap and restate this principle so you do finally get what he is saying.

My pet peeve is that many authors write to impress their academic counterparts. As a copy writer for years (self taught), I had only one desire in my writing and that was to communicate my point as clearly as possible. I wasn't ever trying to impress anyone with how educated I was, or how wide my vocabulary is. In fact, I tried very hard to write at the level than anyone can understand what I am saying.

By the way, I had to pay $48.00 for this book which has been reprinted. An original copy would be between $100 to $300 a copy if you could find one. What does that tell you?

This book seems almost written for students studying architecture. However, the principle is crucial to all art students. It is rather academically written and a slow read. With that said, it is essential that artists understand how powerful indeed are the centers found in a tondo (square/circle) or a rectangle, or any geometric form.

The center is powerful and being unaware of that natural "bulls eye" is to open oneself to making huge blunders in composition.

I highly recommend you read this and study the principles of centricity (formal, direct, centralized compositional devices), and eccentricity (informal in-direct compositional devices); the power of vortexes (arrows), and the pull of earth's gravity.

***

Composition by Cyril Pierce
I lack one chapter finishing. This is just a classic book and be prepared to pay $80 to 300 for an original copy. What does that tell you? It is out of print and hard to find.

This book is a really easy read and the information is presented with such simplicity that it literally "sticks" in your brain. Pierce presents the very fundamentals in this little simple book and the illustrations are easy to comprehend as well. It is very well written in that it communicates a very complicated subject in a great simplicity. A must have for any artist.

***

Carlson's Guide to Landscape Painting by John Carlson
I have just started this book but I can say that John Carlson does not know squatt about painting mediums. I ran this by Rob Howard on the Cennini form and he stated that all of the information on mediums was wrong...dead wrong. However, one member on the forum knew Carlson and his paintings and felt that his ideas on composition and landscape painting were right on. So I will read the book and report back when I have finished.