In spite of it all...
I managed to get to life drawing and these are the result. It has been a distracting few months but I had to have a couple of hours to get my mind off of the traumatic experiences of the day. It didn't work but I'm glad I forced myself to go.
These two were 20 minutes.It began with a family crisis that went from business, to medical, to bereavement, and silence. I can see my feelings in my drawings.
Now this drawing is really out of proportion. I posted because it reminds me to check things out. For instance the knee to foot is too short. Though the model had a broad face...it way too exaggerated in width. Oh...if only I'd lengthened the legs a bit.
Conté Crayon on Strathmore 400 series cream.
What now? I still have many duties sabotaging my need and desire to get back to work in the studio. I yearn to be away to work in solitude but that is not possible. The grief of the loss of my sister, recent angry exchanges over the authority of the Bible with a person I care about deeply, family business matters and a feeling of being pulled in directions away from my artistic goals that I set and failed to meet...all have given me not so good a feeling and I am fighting discouragement.The experience of being with Diane when she took her last breath is still in my constant memory. It was a moment of great faith and honor but the memory hovers with me day and night.
Then there is the anger of a person I was led to witness to, and the sadness I still feel for him lingers yet I know that I was used of the Lord greatly. The scripture rings comfort in my ears ... "Blessed are ye, when [men] shall revile you, and persecute [you], and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake. Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great [is] your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you." -- Matt 5:11-12 This is what is meant by the saying..."taking up your cross." I have done that many times over my lifetime but it is still a cross and difficult. Yet, I am compelled for the love of the Lord and His Word.How perfect and beautiful is the Word of God and how great is the slander coming against His Word today ... mostly done in ignorance; often done in human arrogance. "But thou, O LORD, shalt laugh at them; thou shalt have all the heathen in derision (contemptuous ridicule)." Psalms 59:8
Then there are financial matters, lawyers, accounting ... mostly things that really do not benefit me but duties to the family. Yet, I remind myself that I am a servant and that this is a season.Art will have its time.
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